Time to Talk
by lovecats20000
Summary: All the gods are in a room together.What happens when they start to talk about their most ironic and embarassing moments? Along with a few of their biggest secrets! The anwser: a lot will be uncovered! Please make suggestions and reviews! Suggestions will be used if appropriate.Rick Riordan owns this. Sorry for any spelling errors, I'm a awful speller.
1. Awkward Silence

Disclaimer I own nothing!

All the gods are in a room, they have the feather of truth and some other items.

**Ma'at: Soooo... is everyone else enjoying the awkward silence?**

No one says anything. About five minutes later someone pipes up.

**Bast:I heard Set burned himself trying to get ice out of a freezer.**

**Set:I did.**

**Isis:Well that's a little Ironic.**

**Osiris:I've got something that's even more Ironic.**

**Thoth: I doubt it.**

**Osiris:Horus tripped over a crutch and broke his leg.**

**Horus:Dad!**

**Bast:(Trying not to laugh) Really Horus?**

**Horus:*Blushes*At least I don't eat mice!**

**Bast:You do eat mice. Remember?**

**Horus:*Blushes again!***

**Bast:*Smirks***

**Apophis: You think breaking your leg is embarrassing, try having a kitty kill you over and over again.**

**Bast:Don't call me kitty!**

**Ra: That is why I choose Bast.**

**Horus: I just want to ask why Set insist on killing his own family.**

**Apophis: Because he's awesome.**

**Horus:(Yelling) I didn't ask for your opinion!**

**Set:(nearly whispering) I'm sorry.**

The whole room falls silent.

**Horus:(obviously stunned) Huh?**

**Set: I'm sorry.**

**Thoth:(In attempt to break the silence) Did you know that I don't live in Memphis,Egypt?**

**All: We know!**

**Bast: We knew before you did, for goodness sake!**

**Thoth: (In his head) _It worked._**

**All:Laughing.**

**Nephthys:*Whispering to Set* Do you mean it?**

**Set:*nods* I do.**

**Nephthys:*Kisses Set's cheek***

**Set:*Blushes***

**Horus:Ugh! I did not need to see that!**

**Bast: Agreed.**

**Ma'at:remember when Thoth got his head stuck in a doggie door?**

**Thoth:*Buries his face in his hands*(Muffled) Please don't tell the story...**

A/N What do you think of Bast/Horus? If you don't like the idea I won't use it. I get a lot of stupid ideas along with a few good ones so if it is a bad idea just tell me.


	2. The Doggie Door Crisis

Disclaimer I own nothing!Also I got the idea of Thoth getting his head stuck in a doggie door from the Big Bang Theroy so credits to them!

**Anubis: A doggie door really Thoth?**

**Thoth: Well I had a dog once...**

**Bast: *Eye roll* Of course you did.**

**Thoth: Just shut up and let me tell the story.**

**Bast: Fine.**

**Thoth:I put the lock on backwards by accident and the dog went outside when the door was locked , to add insult to injury I forgot to take the key I had attached to the dog's collar off...**

**Horus:Why did you put the key on the dog's collar anyway? **

**Thoth: I wanted to see if the metal in keys was magnetic, it was, so I wanted to see how much weight it could pick up. The answer is none by the way.**

**Set:Yeah we needed to know that.**

**Thoth:*Glares at Set* Anyway, the dog hadn't come back in and I got worried,since I couldn't get the door open I stuck my head out the doggie door and called for my dog and my head got stuck.**

**Anubis:Did the dog come back?**

**Thoth: Yes.**

**Osiris: Why didn't you use your magic?**

**Thoth:*Facepalms himself* I never thought of that!**

**All: *Groan.***

**Bast: If you're the god of knowledge wouldn't you know better than to get your head stuck in a door?**

**All:*Laughing.***

**Thoth:*Blushes***

**Thoth: Sometimes I really hate you Bast.**

**Horus:*Punches Thoth* You shouldn't be the one to talk.**

**Thoth:Hey!**

**Ra:Stop fighting!**

**Thoth and Horus:*Mumbling***

**Osiris:How are your kids doing Horus?**

**Horus: Okay I guess.**

**Set:One of them pinched me the other day!**

**Horus:I know I paid him ten bucks to.**

**Set:How dare you!**

**Ma'at:*In a calm voice* That's enough.**

**Set and Horus: Whatever!**

**Isis:*mumbling* Well at least they finally agreed on something.**

**Bast:Just out of curiosity, how did Set end up with Nephthys?**

**Nephthys:Well...**

A/N Do you guys want Bast and Horus as a couple or just friends?Also I need some suggestions if you have any!I hoped you enjoyed this,please review or PM me!


	3. The King of Evil Afraid of Kitties?

Disclaimer: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm doing this off of memory, so if there's a God/Goddess you want that isn't in here tell me!

**Nephthys: He was drowning in the Nile and I pulled him out.**

**Bast:(Laughing) Are you serious?**

**Horus: Why did you save that punk?**

**Set: Excuse me!**

**Nephthys: (Looks at Set) Be quiet.(Looks at Horus) I didn't know who he was and it seemed like the right thing to do.**

**Horus:(Mumbling)**

**Shu: I blew him into the river for a reason, why did you fix it!**

**Set: Wow I'm not offended at all ...**

**Geb: Remember the time Anubis was making a speech and tripped over the cord...**

**Nut: And fell face first into an apple pie!**

**Everybody: (Laughing)**

**Anubis: (Blushing) Shut up!**

**Bes: This is hilarious!**

**Tawaret: Agreed.**

**Set: Better than me drowning.**

**Horus: No it's not.**

**Set: Hey at least I'm not afraid of needles!**

**Horus: I am not!**

**Set: Yes you are!**

**Horus: Your afraid of kittens!**

_Bast summons a kitten and puts it on the ground. The kitten walks up to Set and jumps in his lap._

**Set: (Screams and hides behind Nephthys.) Don't let it eat me!**

**Nephthys: It's a baby kitten it won't eat you.**

**Everyone: (Laughing)**

**Nephthys: (Picks up the kitten and puts it in her lap while petting it.)**

**Set: (Returns to his seat.)**

**Anubis: Horus are you afraid of needles?**

**Horus: Uhhhh...**

By the way don't take the being afraid of needles thing as insult. Everybody has their own fears. Anyway I hoped you liked the chapter. Review please!


	4. Talk About Ironic

Disclaimer: I don't own this.

Just so you know the being afraid of needles thing is because my dads friend is one of the toughest guys my dad knows but he passes out if he see's a needle. I will put Sadie in here sooner or later but I can't have twenty secrets revealed at once because I won't be able to keep it organized.

**Horus: (Crosses his arms over his chest.) No way.**

**All the Gods: (Mumbling)**

**Horus: (Glares)**

**Isis:Anyway... I got a golden retriever .**

**Everybody: Awww...**

**Isis: It bit my face.**

**Everybody: Ow.**

**Bast: I hate dogs.**

**Anubis:I hate cats.**

**Sekhmet: Yes they're going to fight!**

**Hathor: (Punches Sekhmet) Shut up.**

**Set: You do realize that in a way you just punched yourself right?**

**Hathor and Sekhmet: SHUT UP!**

**Horus: Well look at that you got them to agree on something.**

**Hathor and Sekhmet: (Glares at Horus.)**

**Horus: I'll shut up now.**

**Isis: (Laughing)**

**Horus: Mom!**

**Isis: What? It was funny.**

**Anubis: Wow.**

**Bast: Once I tripped over a crutch and broke my leg.**

**Set: Are you serious?**

**Isis: I remember that.**

**Thoth: How would you...**

**Isis: I healed it.**

**Bast: Thank you.**

**Isis: You are very welcome.**

**Set: Who's the main healer Thoth or Isis?**

**Ra: Thoth because he heals major stuff.**

**Geb: How is a broken leg not major?**

**Isis: I literally lost my mind!**

**Geb: Oh...**

**Everybody:Duh!**

**Sobek: (Looks at Horus) Good job.**

**Horus: (Glares) Shut. Up.**

**Set: Bast didn't you say you met a greek Demigod once...**

A/N I'm thinking about doing another story, it's about Percy having a sister that's five years older than him. She came home with a scar across her right eye from fighting Zeus when she was six. The reason she got into a fight with him because he wanted to kill Percy although Percy doesn't know this. She is supposed to be undefeatable just so you know. Tell me if you like this idea please!


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